Ghosting seems to be the biggest growing problem in the recruitment industry, a lot of people talk about it. Just this morning on LBC a lady was sick and tired of being ghosted by companies, recruiters the like on her job search.
And truth be told, I am too. Yes, I am a recruiter, I get ghosted not just by candidates, but by hiring managers, suppliers, banks, help desk of technology I am paying for – the list goes on. I total disregard and respect for me, and what I am trying to do for them. It really pisses me off – TBH. The amount of time these past 12 months alone I have spent working with companies – to get a candidate or 20 forward – for them to simply ignore me.
This tells me the problem of ghosting isn’t localised to job hunting, it may feel like it, but it’s rife across all platforms and areas of life. We need to understand this.
And it’s, not a new phenomenon, it’s been around for absolute years and years. Back in the early 90s when you wanted to meet someone, you’d arrange it in school, “see you at 9 am outside Woolworths on Saturday” and it was potluck if they turned up.
You’d be standing there for 30mins wondering if your mate was going to turn up, and when they didn’t, you’d go home or carry on your Saturday adventure without your bestie. Come Monday, “where were you?” and it was always “My parents wouldn’t drop me off” – we had no way of telling each other back then, mobiles didn’t come in till 1998 at the SMS level we have now. And we both moved on and had French class as per normal. I feel that was a possible cultural start of ghosting in society. The shrug our shoulders, “Oh well” attitude to me wasting 30mins waiting outside woollies in the rain?
But as technology grew, emails, SMS, then forums/social media. Ghosting I believe became a bigger issue, because we became more connected.
So why does it happen? Why do we ghost? And why do we feel it got worse?
I hear a lot of people blame recruiters for this issue in recruitment, and it’s not “Recruiters” per se, it just happens to happen in recruitment, when you take the cross-section of all sectors and walks of internet life today, it’s a huge problem outside of recruitment, in dating apps, on social media, in jobs, in communities, businesses. Ghosting isn’t a specific sector problem. Ghosting is a human condition.
We as humans are creatures of pleasure. We seek happiness, or like a river, it follows the path of least resistance. Look at everything around you right now, people, processes, things being made etc. Everything is done within an attention span, and if you don’t fit in that patience level – it falls away very fast. Even manufacturing seeks the quickest most efficient way of solving problems and capitalises on that.
Ghosting then exacerbates when are unconnected to something, or do not require it, OR it gives us discomfort – we become very dismissive toward it.
When we start becoming dismissive. We start the process of convincing ourselves we do not need it, so ignoring is the only way to get away from it. And the in some areas of our world brings in all manner of issues. And the Paradox of that, Ghosting has become normalised in society.
If you do not fancy your tinder match anymore – don’t tell them, dismiss them, ignore them. Why should you? That’s what happened to you last week.
Why should a hiring manager respond to a candidate, you don’t fit the bill…
But the thing is, when it’s being normalised, it is becoming a part of the human psyche – a trait we are all picking up, and placing in our subconscious with a big giant green tick next to it and convincing ourselves it’s fine to do.
Then we all go into denial about it, “that’s not me, I don’t do that” when it’s clear everyone does it. We just need to be more aware of it and be better, and not do it. I try my best and be responsible for people’s lives – and respond to as many people as I can.
As I see it, In the recruitment industry, Ghosting isn’t localised with recruiters, everyone is at it. Because no one is engaging in the process. We either have too much technology making things easier – or just not enough information on why it’s important to let people know where they stand in a process. But the sickening issue is down to money – that’s linked to happiness when you look at it. The dismissiveness is excused with the attitude “where a business, not a charity” – these businesses won’t admit this, on social media – and it’s funny – it’s always the ones with a “values we believe in” page on their website.
I see it with people approaching me to sell me something, and I say no, they don’t take the time to build a relationship with you and understand your needs, build a prospect, they dismiss and move on, or keep sending you the same bullshit message on Linkedin.
What we should be doing with candidates, with your recruiters, with your friends, with everything we do in life – is building connection in life, which will help you one day. And I am not talking about that Faux connection people do, to get a sale, to make money out of people. I am talking about a real understanding, to build that trust.
Maybe it’s a bit too Disney for today’s society? I don’t know. If we did, it might solve all these issues in the media we see and hear between cultures? We’ll get to understand our issues and empathise with each other. But that takes energy.
And like a river, humans like to take the path of least resistance.
Either way though, Ghosting is firmly here in society, a cultural problem, that needs serious addressing, if people cared.
Be the one, that carves the path.